Crash Laning In Canada
by spunt
Summary: This story is when Anakin, Asoka and Obi-wan crash into Canada and meet me and my family and there will be sex so you have been warned. Rating could be changed to M please read and review! Check out my other stories on my profile.


Crash Landing In Canada

[A fan fiction by Spunt ]

Chapter one

Crash landing

Okay well this is my first star wars story and I think yours are all great so please review!

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and if there are any other characters then they are mine.

**On the twilight Anakin Skywalker, Asoka Tano and Obi-Wan Kenobi are arguing about were they are going.**

'Well master if you would of not gotten us sucked into a worm hole we wouldn't be crashing into a unknown planet.'

'Master I don't want to die.!''

Its ok snips we won't die.'

**Suddenly they crash land into the earth! Debris go flying and people do too.**

'Master I think I got hit.'

'Let me see Asoka.'

**What Anakin saw was a huge gash across Asoka's torso and another across her head which were bleeding badly**.

'Oh dear that will slow us down a bit.'

'Yes it will.'

'Asoka can you see, walk or feel anything?'

'No I seem to be blind and I can't feel anything, not to mention I can't walk.'

'Well then we will leave you in order to scout the area.'

'Ok.'

END OF CHAPTER ONE

**AUTHORS NOTES; I want to hear the suggestions you all have. I will post the next update as soon as I finish writing it.**

Chapter two

The meeting of the people of Canada

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

'I just don't know Obi-wan how are we supposed to get off this uninhabited planet with no food or water and not to mention shelter?'

**Several gun shots ring out**

'Anakin did I just hear gunfire?'

'Yes you did.'

'Well let's go and investigate it.'

'Sure.'

**They go for several miles and find two kids playing with guns**

'Kids why are you playing with guns which are unsafe?'

'They are cap guns and we don't have any caps in them.'

'Oh and were are we?'

'Why sir you are in the glorious nation of Canada on the planet of earth were everyone from this country say eh after every sentence.'

'What are your names?'

'Our names good sirs are Bob and Joe.'

'Well then I am master Obi-wan Kenobi and this is Jedi knight Anakin Skywalker.'

'Oh great and you guys just happen to be dressed up like your TV show and they do good costumes and light sabers.'

'TV?'

'It's the television'

'We got our own TV show?'

Yes you do.'

'Take us to your leader.'

'Dad help real Jedi are attacking us!'

'Who's your dad?'

'Sir Isaac peppermint General of the Army of the glorious nation of Canada Knight of the order of Bath at your service. OMG you really are real! Do you have any loony's or dollars with you?'

'We have galactic credits which probably are worth nothing.'

'Ok we will smuggle you out of Canada to Warner Brother's studies in Hollywood California.'

'What about Asoka?'

'Anakin she is probably dead already due to her injuries.'

'Ah well its worth a shot to see if she's dead.'

END OF CHAPTER TWO

**AUTHORS NOTES; We will return to Canada after a chapter besides the next one. **

Chapter three

Going back to the crash site

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

'I don't want to look Obi-Wan.'

'It looks like she will have to get to a hospital quickly or she will die.'

'Master what happened who are these people'

**Suddenly she pulls out her light saber**

'If anyone tries to hurt me the big man dies'

'Calm down these are the people who are smuggling us to the USA.'

'Ok.'

'Look we need to get you to a hospital and we will come back'

END OF CHAPTER THREE

**AUTHORS NOTES; Ok sorry for the small chapter but a bigger one next.**

Chapter four

Warner Brothers Studios

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

'Here we are at the production faculty for your show can we come inside sure?'

'Sure'

'Where were you guys you are late ok scene one of the next episode Asoka's trauma.'

'Asoka what a nice surprise'

'Its you, bloody traitorous basterldy son of a bitch.'

'Language.'

'I don't care are you here to kill me now.'

'No but I have a guest'.

'Go to hell Dooku.'

Hello Asoka.'

'Bane what a surprise.'

'I am going to leave you to your business now.'

I am going to do something to you that you won't want to stop.'

'I don't care anymore just do it.'

'Ok.'

**He had sex with her and she loved it.'**

'I want more.'

'Bane we have some uninvited guests.'

'Lets leave and get out of her but first I will take all her cloths and make her a walking pile of blood.'

'Hurry.'

**They got clean away.**

'Asoka what happened?'

**Silence**

'Is it just me or is she naked?'

'Yes she is and probably was abused or had sex too.'

'I want sex.'

'No sex is bad for you and causes excruciating pain in females.'

'Let's get you back to the ship.'

'Ok that's a rap.'

'How horrible well we got a sneak peak at this weeks episode.'

'Were can we repair the ship?'

'Well that would be at NASA but they would detain you for being people from another galaxy.'

'We will sneak you back to Canada now so you can see your associate and rebuild you ship.'

END OF CAHPTER FOUR

**Authors notes; longer chapter with a surprise in for fans of Asoka romance stories. Thanks for all the reviews. I will post when I can.**

Chapter four

A trip to the hospital

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

'I'm sorry sir but we need to see ID for patients under 15.'

'How is she?'

'You were lucky she didn't die when you were transporting here she lost her three tails and blood and is blind in her right fully and partial in her left, she will need support were ever she goes because she is not walking for about a year due to shrapnel in her feet and legs. One more thing she won't recognize you because she got bleeding in the brain and shrapnel in her heart.'

'Oh my god is it that bad?'

'That and worse.'

'God dam it.'

'She is awake and will see you now.'

'Thank you.'

'I will kill you when I have had sex with Asoka.'

'Bane don't she will die otherwise is that what you want?'

'Yes.'

**He had sex Asoka and almost got her pregnant but he just couldn't.**

'I almost got her pregnant.'

'She's 14 for gods sakes Bane if you would have had succeeded she would have had gotten kicked out of the Jedi order and have become a single mother just out of the cradle.'

**Bane left.**

'Asoka how are you?'

'Did I just get you know what by who I think so?'

'The answer is yes and for the other yes it was Bane.'

'I think I am pregnant.'

'Nurse we have a patient who wants a pregnancy test.'

**Two hours latter**

'Miss might I say to you that the answer is.. hold on its coming now.'

**Paper with results comes out of the machine she reads it and looks surprised**

'Well what the hell is the answer woman?'

END OF CHAPTER FOUR

**AUTHOR"S NOTES; I want a cliff hanger so you will find out in the next chapter if she is or is not pregnant.**

Chapter five

The answer

'What do you want to have a baby or not to?'

'To not have one of course.'

'Well then I am sorry but she is pregnant and is 8 and 29/30th months, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 0 seconds along and it looks like a boy.

'Oh god dam you son of a bitch go to bloody hell miss and may god forgive me when I slice your bloody guts out!'

'Calm down.'

'Ok.'

'What day is it?'

'September 23.'

'Our birthday'

"Mine as well.'

'How old?'

Well my kids are 13.'

How old are you Asoka?

'14.'

'Your only 14?'

'Yes I lied in order to get with you.'

'Well you are dead then because the masters will have your head for lying about your age and for having a baby.'

'How long until the labor?'

'About one minute"

END OF CHAPTER FIVE

**AUTHORS NOTES; I told you there would be a surprise and how will the delivery com out? What will happen? Will post next chapter when I can due to school.**

Chapter six

Asoka's labor

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

'Excuse me but for the safety of our medical staff, patient and baby you must leave.'

'You don't want to do the delivery and you want us to do it.'

'We don't want to do the delivery and we want you to do it.'

'Do you have any idea how to deliver a baby?'

'Hello guys my waters breaking!'

'Ok it says here in DELIVERING BABAIES FOR DUMMIES [not sure if real but I don't know so if It can be verified thanks.] that you need to sterilize the equipment and put the patient to sleep.

'Asoka we are going to operate on you now ok which means putting you to sleep.'

'No I want to be there to see it.'

'Ok then but be ready for serious pain.'

'It says to cut open the stomach and get ready to heave on the baby.'

'Ok I'm heaving.'

'I'm pushing too.'

**Ten minutes latter**

'It came out!'

'Well Asoka welcome to motherhood!'

'Wow I thought I would die for sure.'

'It is twin set of human boys with brown eyes, brown hair and they weight 1.4 and1.5 pounds.

END OF CHAPTER SIX

**AUTHORS NOTES; How nice Asoka got twins. Will write more about after affects latter and about her injuries.**

Chapter seven

The Jedi council meeting

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

'Well and that's what happened with Asoka and her getting you know what by Bane.

'Troubling being a single parent so young Asoka must be.

'I am sorry she can't answer you she's out cold and the twins are in the maternity ward.'

'She must be expelled from the order for having twins.'

'But it wasn't her fault she was by Bane.'

'Shell have to bear the fault then.'

'Who wants to expel Asoka from the order?

**No hands go up**

'Who wants to keep her in the order?'

**All hands go up**

'She will be kept but a choice she has to make between the order or her family.'

END OF CHAPTER SEVEN  
**AUTHORS NOTES; Sorry for short chapter will catch up with Asoka and her motherhood in next chapter.**

Chapter eight

The aftermath of Asoka's labor

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

'Well how are you?'

'Good but I fell like I'm going to pass out and I feel light headed.'

'A side affect of one shot sex event then becoming pregnant.'

'By the way master what got me this blessed event?'

'Well you don't want to know snips at least for another four years.'

'Yes I want to know!'

'Yes but me and Joe have already have had it.'

'Well that is through something called sex and that is…'

'LA, LA, LA, LA, I DON"T WANT TO HEAR IT!

'Why you asked how it happened and I tried to explain it.'

'Why bother I haven't have the talk yet ok!'

'Ok then lets have it right now.'

'Why do you want to when I have had a child already?'

'Well your only 14 for gods sakes Asoka you had a child because Bane forced you to have sex with him!'

'So I want more from him and he was good at it!'

'Asoka you're a SEX ADDICT?'

'No but he was good at it'

'I'm just saying while I have one why not another or so?'

'Asoka the order MIGHT let you get away with twins but not more then once!'

'If my family hears that I GOT BLOODY PREGNANT AND HAD A BLOODY HUMAN SET OF BLOODY TWINS ON A BLOODY PALNET THAT WE HAVE NO BLOODY CONTACT WITH THEY WILL BLOODY KILL ME!'

'Well don't tell them.'

'I'm going there for a bloody breast check so I have to tell them.'

'Ok then.'

END OF CHAPTER EIGHT

**AUTHORS NOTES; Wow a real surprise about Asoka not having the talk yet! Will have another surprise with someone doing something bad! Will post next update soon.**

Chapter nine

Asoka smoking, drinking and getting arrested

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

**Asoka lights another cigarette up and opens another whisky bottle which was her tenth today**

'Asoka what are you doing?'

'Drinking whisky and having a cigarette master.'

'Snips your drunk and probably have chewing tobacco under your bed.'

'Yes I do and I have had ten cigarettes and whiskeys in the last day and I love them!'

'Snips you need help!'

'I'm going out for a walk.'

'Hello there I'm a police officer an I check to see if your drunk?'

'Yeah sure I know I am past the limit.'

**The test results were yes she was drunk**

'You are under arrest by the Winapeg police department how old are you?'

'14'

'You are going to be judged as an adult then.'

**The officer takes her away just as Anakin and Obi-wan come out of the hospital**

'Oh great now what?'

'She just got a bloody baby and now she had to get bloody arrested for the bloody first time.'

'To make matters worse she's only 14'

'I know but she will have a rap sheet now.'

'Lets break her out before they get there.'

**They do and get clean away**

'Asoka you do need help do you not realize how close we came to getting exposed?'

'I know'

'But now we need to inform the council now of what you have done.'

END OF CHAPTER NINE

**AUTHORS NOTES;**

**A big surprise that Asoka got arrested. What will happen next? I will post the next chapter soon.**

Chapter ten

The second Jedi council meeting

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

'Asoka how are you and your baby?'

'I am fine and so is the baby.'

'So troubling it must be for you to be left with a child from Bane just because he had sex with you for one time.'

'It is Master Yoda.'

'Asoka has something to tell you.'

'Yes today I got arrested.'

'For what that reason is?'

'For drinking beer.'

**A gasp went up in the room**

'Wait you got arrested because you drank beer?'

'Yes twenty cases in one day.'

'Dear god child and your only 15!'

'No I'm actually only 14.'

'You were only 13 when you got pregnant?'

'Yes I was'

'My god child but this is serious.'

'You need to find a way out of Earth now.'

'Ok,'

END OF CHAPTER TEN

**AUTHORS NOTES;**

**Well I'm sorry that wasn't exciting but the next chapter will.**

Chapter eleven

Asoka's problems

DISCLAMER; I do not own star wars or its characters and all other characters are mine.

**Asoka cornered Bob in her hospital room**

'Hey honey bear do you want to have sex now?'

'Uh Asoka you need help because you want me to have sex with you when we are both under age and not married.'

'I don't care I want you to have sex with me and do other inappropriate things like pissing on me and touching me on my breasts.'

'No Master Obi-wan! Asoka wants me to have sex with her!'

'I will have sex with you!'

'Help I'm being sexually assaulted in Asoka's hospital room by her Help!'

**Obi-Wan and Anakin came in to see what damage Asoka had done**

'My god look what she did.'

**She had ripped off Bob's shirt reviling a small scar like cut**

"Bob what is this?'

'Oh nothing just a cut from a bullet I took a few weeks back.'

'A bullet?'

'Yes well I was shot while trying to stop a robbery.

'Well then may I still have sex with you?'

'What you just asked me to have with you and I would not be a no more?

'Yes?'

'No I need to go and Lie down.

'I will come with you.'

**Bob and Obi-Wan got far away before he asked the questions that were on both their minds**

Did she actually want to suck my dick?'

'Yes.'

'Do you think after she sucked my dick she would have had put it up her entery way?

'Probably.'

'Would she of had made my suck her?'

'It's a probability.'

'My god I think I am going to faint.'

'Well don't will you press charges of attempted assault?'

'I might since she did take off my shirt and next I think would have been my pants then the questions in order.

'Bob don't she's only 14 for gods sakes.'

'So I am only 13 and I almost got sexually assaulted.'

'Bob don't do this.'

'Ok I won't but if she tries this or winds up in my bed and doing things to my body that are inappropriate I will take her in.'

'Ok.'

**Two hours latter at 8:30 when Bob went to bed and fell asleep he woke up at 10:00 at make sure that he didn't wet the bed because he has chronic bed wetting syndrome and when he came back from the bathroom he saw Asoka naked in his bed**

'Well sexy come and lets do it I want more children and sex.'

'Asoka your crazy so get back to your own room and why are you NAKED?!

'I love you.'

'Your crazy I already have someone back in the world that I have my eye on for marriage.'

'Oh really who and have you had sex with her yet?

'First her name is Nicolle pencil and no because it is illegal to have sex until you're married.'

'Why were you up?'

'I.., I…. I wet the bed ok?!'

'Wow that is something I never did.'

'I don't want to talk about it ok so go back in to your own room, get some cloths on and no I am not having sex with you.'

'Aw but its fun.'

'No and teenage pregnancies ruin dreams for latter in life.'

'I love you sexy and I will get you away from Nicole Pencil!!!!

'Put some cloths on Asoka and stay out of my room!'

I sleep naked and suck my breasts every night.

'So wait you got pregnant by your self?'

'No but I would have had Bane not had fucked me.

'My god you used the F word.'

'So I can say you're a fucking, son of a bitch who is silk stocking full of shit who is also a son of a bitch and is a ass without feeling remorse.'

"Asoka you need help.'

'You should go to school.'

'School I passed a long time ago!'

'You need to go until your 18.'

'Ok then.'

END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN

**AUTH**


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